Solitude

It's hard to believe that Superman has been gone a week. I have lived a lifetime since he passed away in his sleep holding my hand.

On Thursday, October 9th, we had Denny's visitation.  The funeral home did a beautiful job getting everything ready for us.  My wonderful friends, Heidi (sister of my heart), Mary Ellen, and Lori, filled the family area with tons of food and drinks. The flowers were lovely and the friends/family were many. Dana, Daniel and I loved hearing the sound of laughter as we greeted each person who came by.  Superman would have loved that.

As the faces of friends and family passed, I was lost in a world of memories that each represented.  We were married for 23 years and I was amazed at the depth our life together.  From the people we have met on our journey to the things we had accomplished, my heart was full.

On Friday, October 10th, we buried him with love in the pouring rain.  Soggy shoes, sodden clothes and bouquets of umbrellas were just part of the process.  His Pall Bearers were: Daniel Woodruff, Ben Woodruff, Travis Jones, Shawn Saale, Jimmy Woodruff,  Randy Lang, John Canady and Ron Reichelt. I watched the solemn faces gather around the one we will all remember; Superman.  Even in the gloom of the day, the beautiful Autumn flowers surrounding his casket brought life and color to this memory.  In the privacy of our last moment on earth as a family, Dana, Daniel, and I placed our hands, one on top of the other, on the lid of the casket and I said, "Once more as TheWoodruff4- We are strong and we are united."

The three of us left the grave site holding hands, knowing that Denny was at peace in heaven.  We went to the luncheon that my sister, Diane, Heidi, and Meg had put together with the help of some of my other old friends, Janet and Donna.  It was all done in Superman's colors: blue, red and yellow.  The food was delicious.  Sharing stories with friends and family was priceless; a good memory to take home with us.   We drove home to Nashville through storms and tornado warnings.  As we walked in the door at 10 p.m. that night, we felt his absence.  We know it is going to take time to adjust.

On Saturday, October 11th, Denny had an extraordinary memorial service at Gladeville United Methodist Church.  I posted a picture of the beautiful flowers that were on the Altar.  Pastor Mark, Benny Jo MacDonald, and Wayne Foster spoke sincere and moving tributes of their relationships with Denny. Jenny Youngman sang and played "I'll Fly Away" in an arrangement I have never heard before.  She is beyond talented and I had goosebumps on my arms from the beauty of her song. I told them of the dream I had about Kevin and Denny just as I had in Missouri.  I hope it gives everyone as much comfort as it gives me.  The service ended and a terrific meal of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and other great dishes were served.  Our Church family did a spectacular job in every way.

Many of Denny's work friends were present.  Denny's boss stood up and said a few moving words in his memory.  I had tears in my eyes when he was through.  The Colonel of the Army Corps of Engineers-Nashville District was there in uniform.  He shook my hand and told me of Denny's influence and positive change he made while working there. I appreciated that.

Sunday came and it was time for my little birds to fly.  At noon, Dana and Dan left for school.  We had a group hug and off they went - with a toot of the horn and a wave good-bye. I was glad they were together for most of the journey back into their lives.

I stood on the sidewalk in front of the house and looked around.  All at once, I heard silence.  No familiar face was waiting for me inside.  Everything looked the same but I knew it was going to be different.  I waited for the sadness to come.  To my surprise, I just felt peace.  Denny isn't suffering anymore.  He doesn't have to fight for life because he has it...eternally.  I feel peace because I know I did everything I could for him while he was mine.  That dream comforts me in ways you can't imagine.  So I turned to enter our house and as I did, I soaked up the solitude.

Peace, love, comfort and a legacy of strength and grace have been bequeathed to Dana, Daniel and me.  The memory of our Superman will always live within us....

Superman's Memorial Plans

Dennis Allen Woodruff

August 21, 1953 - October 6, 2014

MISSOURI

Visitation: Thursday,October 9, 2014

from 1:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

at Pitman Funeral Home

1545 Wentzville Parkway

Wentzville, MO 63385

Memorial Service will begin on Friday, October 10, 2014

at 10:00 a.m.

Pitman Funeral Home 

with burial at

St. Charles Memorial Gardens at Cave Springs

Light Luncheon to follow for family and friends 

at New Melle Sports and Rec (formerly the New Melle Community Club)

4700 Hwy Z

New Melle, MO 63365

TENNESSEE 

Memorial Service will begin at 4:00 p.m
on Saturday, October 11, 2014 

Gladeville United Methodist Church

8770 Stewarts Ferry Pike

Gladeville, TN 37071

We will celebrate the life of Superman with a meal afterwards.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to: Woodruff Children Education Fund

TheWoodruff4 wish to thank everyone for the texts, facebook comments, and phone calls we have received.  There have been so many offers to help that we cannot help but feel grateful.  The kids and I are putting one foot in front of the other.  It feels surreal to us to refer to Superman in a past tense.  His legacy of strength, courage and incredible grace will carry us through.  God is still with us.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,

Love leaves a memory no one can steal."

-Inscription found on an Irish Headstone

Up in the Air...

Dennis Allen Woodruff

August 21, 1953 - October 6, 2014

Superman has taken to the skies and is in flight once again.  At 6:15 p.m. this evening, Denny left for his journey to Heaven.  He slipped away peacefully in his sleep with me by his side.  Funeral arrangements are pending.  I will post info here as soon as I can.  Thank you all for the many calls, hugs, emails, cards, and prayers.  TheWoodruff4 appreciate it very much.  Yes, we will always be TheWoodruff4 as Denny will never be forgotten.  Safe travels, Denny.  I love you.

Keeping Watch

Denny has steadily declined over the past few days.  He has had increased pain due to the rapid growth of the tumor.  Hospice has been wonderfully responsive.  However, today, we had to move him to an inpatient hospice center.  The doctors can manage the pain more quickly than I can at home.  I had to call a nurse.  They had to drive to the house. The nurse then had to call the doctor who then issued the order.  All of that was taking too long.  Katherine, the hospice nurse we had today was so efficient.  We had an ambulance at the house and Denny was on his way.

The facility we are in is beautiful and serene.  Denny is very comfortable.  I'm by his side keeping watch.  They say he is near the end of this journey.  God is waiting for him.  Superman is waiting to fly once more.

I love you, Denny.

Peace On Earth

Denny is quickly slipping away.  He has been sleeping around the clock.  This morning we had to give him his pills with Jello because he couldn't swallow them with water.  This brilliant idea was from BJ, my neighbor.  By this afternoon, he couldn't swallow even with the jello.

Sandy, our hospice nurse, came out to take a look at him.  She said he has declined very quickly and has ordered a morphine pain pump so that I don't have to worry about getting the pills down.  She also said that only God knows when it is Denny's time but based on her years of experience, she feels we will be lucky to have him through the weekend.  She said if the pain pump can keep him more comfortable he may have a few days longer.  Both the hospice nurse and the hospice Doctor feel the tumor is growing bigger at the base of his skull.  He is having small seizures that cause him to jerk and twitch. This is caused from the tumor growing toward his brain.  I have liquid medicines that I will be giving him every 2 hours throughout the night.

Dana and Daniel will not be coming home this weekend.  TheWoodruff4 have handled this cancer fight for 10 years.  The kids were able to spend time one-on-one with their Dad at the hospital to say the things that were in their hearts.  Denny was given the same opportunity.  Going to Auburn was his Swan Song.  He was able to say good-bye to his children on his own terms in his own way.  They want to remember him that way.  I know there are others out there that do not agree with how we have decided to handle this.  We ask that you not criticize our family's decisions but respect our desire to say "good-bye" in a manner that works for the 4 of us.

I spent most of this afternoon sitting with Denny in our bedroom. The house is clean and quiet.  Our dog is sleeping on our bed.  I hear the cadence of the clock: tick tock tick tock in soothing repetition.  Denny's face is peaceful.  The window was slightly open so that he could hear the warble of the bird song.  What a strangely beautiful experience his end-of-life journey is.  We are covered with tranquility like a blanket in our little world; just he and I.  Let there be peace on earth for my superman...I love you, Denny...+1

Sweet Dreams, Superman...

It has been very busy since my last post.  Hospice came in on Monday and I completed the paperwork.  Denny was sleeping,  He got up for about 20 minutes and answered some questions but dozed most of the day.  The weekend's activities pushed his strength so he tried to relax on Monday,

The paperwork took hours to fill out.  We had to go over all the medicines, symptoms, insurance, etc.  The nurse was very nice.  She listened really well and made some good suggestions.  Denny seems to be more calm when I am around.  He was having anxiety, though, with the breathing problems he was having.  Not being able to breathe out of his nose was really bothering him.

The hospice nurse, Gailia, ordered him a prescription for an anti-anxiety drug to help with this as there is nothing that can be done about the breathing.  The tumor growth will eventually cause all breathing to be done through his mouth.

Gailia ordered a hospital bed so that we can keep his head elevated.  It arrived yesterday.  The equipment company set it up and it is working great.  She also ordered some more supplies that will help keep Denny comfortable. Denny slept much better last night with his head elevated.

This is the difficult news to share.  The hospice nurse that has been assigned to us, Sandy, said that the tumor appears to have advanced into his brain.  Denny is experiencing dementia-like symptoms as well as some other neurological problems.  He has tremors in his hands and his feet are restless.  He is picking at his covers on the bed.  His left eye is not tracking due to the tumor growth. Sandy said this is not due to medication as I called them first thing in the morning with the changes I saw.  It was obvious before I had even given him any medications.

Denny's brother, Jimmy, came down yesterday evening. He has helped me with getting Denny's shower and watching over him while I went to the store.  My neighbor, BJ, has been in and out helping immensely with bedding and other sick-bed items that we needed.  I just want everyone to know our neighbors are really caring people.  They have become our Tennessee family. Here's a shout-out to the Stahls, BJ, and the Pinkstons. We love y'all!

Sandy came by this morning with some more equipment for me.  She said she wanted to check on Denny and see how we were doing. She is wonderful and lives close by.  Hospice has been an extraordinary thing; lots of support for me and comfort care for Denny.

These are certainly tough times for TheWoodruff4.  I called the kids and told them of their Dad's deterioration.  They were quiet and sad on the phone.  Both have tests this week and are having trouble concentrating.  Please say a little prayer for them.

Last night after Jimmy had gone to bed, I gave Denny his last dose of morphine.  (He is up to 600mg per day to control the pain).  I leaned over to give him a kiss and to tell him I love him when he said, "Will you marry me?"  With tears in my eyes, I said, "Yes."  He smiled and drifted off to sleep. Sweet Dreams, Superman...