Two Months

Yesterday, I was talking to my friend, Dorothy, about how much I missed writing in my blog.  I didn't realize how cathartic it was for me to write my thoughts.  Many people at the funeral asked if I was going to continue.  Several told me they read my blog with their morning coffee every day.  I've decided I will keep it going for myself and anyone who would like to read it.

Two Months.  It has been two months today since we lost Superman.  He is not suffering any more and is enjoying holiday dinners with his parents and best friend, Kevin.  Dana, Daniel and I are making an effort to enjoy the holidays but the hole he left behind is very difficult to fill.

Dana and Daniel are in finals week now.  They are both studying hard and counting the minutes until they can come home.  I'm excited to have them home for almost a month.  We also have 2 new family members that will make the holidays merry and bright.  Teddy and Tess are 7 week old Japanese Spitz puppies.  They bring lots of entertainment to me daily.

This holiday season will be series of "firsts" for us.  The first Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years without Superman.  We feel fortunate to have made so many wonderful memories in the past.  However, we need to make happy memories this year for the future.  Our Church family, neighbors, friends and family are all helping us with that. We feel thankful for them. Until my next post, enjoy the Christmas festivities and hug your families tight.

Solitude

It's hard to believe that Superman has been gone a week. I have lived a lifetime since he passed away in his sleep holding my hand.

On Thursday, October 9th, we had Denny's visitation.  The funeral home did a beautiful job getting everything ready for us.  My wonderful friends, Heidi (sister of my heart), Mary Ellen, and Lori, filled the family area with tons of food and drinks. The flowers were lovely and the friends/family were many. Dana, Daniel and I loved hearing the sound of laughter as we greeted each person who came by.  Superman would have loved that.

As the faces of friends and family passed, I was lost in a world of memories that each represented.  We were married for 23 years and I was amazed at the depth our life together.  From the people we have met on our journey to the things we had accomplished, my heart was full.

On Friday, October 10th, we buried him with love in the pouring rain.  Soggy shoes, sodden clothes and bouquets of umbrellas were just part of the process.  His Pall Bearers were: Daniel Woodruff, Ben Woodruff, Travis Jones, Shawn Saale, Jimmy Woodruff,  Randy Lang, John Canady and Ron Reichelt. I watched the solemn faces gather around the one we will all remember; Superman.  Even in the gloom of the day, the beautiful Autumn flowers surrounding his casket brought life and color to this memory.  In the privacy of our last moment on earth as a family, Dana, Daniel, and I placed our hands, one on top of the other, on the lid of the casket and I said, "Once more as TheWoodruff4- We are strong and we are united."

The three of us left the grave site holding hands, knowing that Denny was at peace in heaven.  We went to the luncheon that my sister, Diane, Heidi, and Meg had put together with the help of some of my other old friends, Janet and Donna.  It was all done in Superman's colors: blue, red and yellow.  The food was delicious.  Sharing stories with friends and family was priceless; a good memory to take home with us.   We drove home to Nashville through storms and tornado warnings.  As we walked in the door at 10 p.m. that night, we felt his absence.  We know it is going to take time to adjust.

On Saturday, October 11th, Denny had an extraordinary memorial service at Gladeville United Methodist Church.  I posted a picture of the beautiful flowers that were on the Altar.  Pastor Mark, Benny Jo MacDonald, and Wayne Foster spoke sincere and moving tributes of their relationships with Denny. Jenny Youngman sang and played "I'll Fly Away" in an arrangement I have never heard before.  She is beyond talented and I had goosebumps on my arms from the beauty of her song. I told them of the dream I had about Kevin and Denny just as I had in Missouri.  I hope it gives everyone as much comfort as it gives me.  The service ended and a terrific meal of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and other great dishes were served.  Our Church family did a spectacular job in every way.

Many of Denny's work friends were present.  Denny's boss stood up and said a few moving words in his memory.  I had tears in my eyes when he was through.  The Colonel of the Army Corps of Engineers-Nashville District was there in uniform.  He shook my hand and told me of Denny's influence and positive change he made while working there. I appreciated that.

Sunday came and it was time for my little birds to fly.  At noon, Dana and Dan left for school.  We had a group hug and off they went - with a toot of the horn and a wave good-bye. I was glad they were together for most of the journey back into their lives.

I stood on the sidewalk in front of the house and looked around.  All at once, I heard silence.  No familiar face was waiting for me inside.  Everything looked the same but I knew it was going to be different.  I waited for the sadness to come.  To my surprise, I just felt peace.  Denny isn't suffering anymore.  He doesn't have to fight for life because he has it...eternally.  I feel peace because I know I did everything I could for him while he was mine.  That dream comforts me in ways you can't imagine.  So I turned to enter our house and as I did, I soaked up the solitude.

Peace, love, comfort and a legacy of strength and grace have been bequeathed to Dana, Daniel and me.  The memory of our Superman will always live within us....

Superman's Memorial Plans

Dennis Allen Woodruff

August 21, 1953 - October 6, 2014

MISSOURI

Visitation: Thursday,October 9, 2014

from 1:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

at Pitman Funeral Home

1545 Wentzville Parkway

Wentzville, MO 63385

Memorial Service will begin on Friday, October 10, 2014

at 10:00 a.m.

Pitman Funeral Home 

with burial at

St. Charles Memorial Gardens at Cave Springs

Light Luncheon to follow for family and friends 

at New Melle Sports and Rec (formerly the New Melle Community Club)

4700 Hwy Z

New Melle, MO 63365

TENNESSEE 

Memorial Service will begin at 4:00 p.m
on Saturday, October 11, 2014 

Gladeville United Methodist Church

8770 Stewarts Ferry Pike

Gladeville, TN 37071

We will celebrate the life of Superman with a meal afterwards.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to: Woodruff Children Education Fund

TheWoodruff4 wish to thank everyone for the texts, facebook comments, and phone calls we have received.  There have been so many offers to help that we cannot help but feel grateful.  The kids and I are putting one foot in front of the other.  It feels surreal to us to refer to Superman in a past tense.  His legacy of strength, courage and incredible grace will carry us through.  God is still with us.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,

Love leaves a memory no one can steal."

-Inscription found on an Irish Headstone

Up in the Air...

Dennis Allen Woodruff

August 21, 1953 - October 6, 2014

Superman has taken to the skies and is in flight once again.  At 6:15 p.m. this evening, Denny left for his journey to Heaven.  He slipped away peacefully in his sleep with me by his side.  Funeral arrangements are pending.  I will post info here as soon as I can.  Thank you all for the many calls, hugs, emails, cards, and prayers.  TheWoodruff4 appreciate it very much.  Yes, we will always be TheWoodruff4 as Denny will never be forgotten.  Safe travels, Denny.  I love you.

Keeping Watch

Denny has steadily declined over the past few days.  He has had increased pain due to the rapid growth of the tumor.  Hospice has been wonderfully responsive.  However, today, we had to move him to an inpatient hospice center.  The doctors can manage the pain more quickly than I can at home.  I had to call a nurse.  They had to drive to the house. The nurse then had to call the doctor who then issued the order.  All of that was taking too long.  Katherine, the hospice nurse we had today was so efficient.  We had an ambulance at the house and Denny was on his way.

The facility we are in is beautiful and serene.  Denny is very comfortable.  I'm by his side keeping watch.  They say he is near the end of this journey.  God is waiting for him.  Superman is waiting to fly once more.

I love you, Denny.

Peace On Earth

Denny is quickly slipping away.  He has been sleeping around the clock.  This morning we had to give him his pills with Jello because he couldn't swallow them with water.  This brilliant idea was from BJ, my neighbor.  By this afternoon, he couldn't swallow even with the jello.

Sandy, our hospice nurse, came out to take a look at him.  She said he has declined very quickly and has ordered a morphine pain pump so that I don't have to worry about getting the pills down.  She also said that only God knows when it is Denny's time but based on her years of experience, she feels we will be lucky to have him through the weekend.  She said if the pain pump can keep him more comfortable he may have a few days longer.  Both the hospice nurse and the hospice Doctor feel the tumor is growing bigger at the base of his skull.  He is having small seizures that cause him to jerk and twitch. This is caused from the tumor growing toward his brain.  I have liquid medicines that I will be giving him every 2 hours throughout the night.

Dana and Daniel will not be coming home this weekend.  TheWoodruff4 have handled this cancer fight for 10 years.  The kids were able to spend time one-on-one with their Dad at the hospital to say the things that were in their hearts.  Denny was given the same opportunity.  Going to Auburn was his Swan Song.  He was able to say good-bye to his children on his own terms in his own way.  They want to remember him that way.  I know there are others out there that do not agree with how we have decided to handle this.  We ask that you not criticize our family's decisions but respect our desire to say "good-bye" in a manner that works for the 4 of us.

I spent most of this afternoon sitting with Denny in our bedroom. The house is clean and quiet.  Our dog is sleeping on our bed.  I hear the cadence of the clock: tick tock tick tock in soothing repetition.  Denny's face is peaceful.  The window was slightly open so that he could hear the warble of the bird song.  What a strangely beautiful experience his end-of-life journey is.  We are covered with tranquility like a blanket in our little world; just he and I.  Let there be peace on earth for my superman...I love you, Denny...+1

Sweet Dreams, Superman...

It has been very busy since my last post.  Hospice came in on Monday and I completed the paperwork.  Denny was sleeping,  He got up for about 20 minutes and answered some questions but dozed most of the day.  The weekend's activities pushed his strength so he tried to relax on Monday,

The paperwork took hours to fill out.  We had to go over all the medicines, symptoms, insurance, etc.  The nurse was very nice.  She listened really well and made some good suggestions.  Denny seems to be more calm when I am around.  He was having anxiety, though, with the breathing problems he was having.  Not being able to breathe out of his nose was really bothering him.

The hospice nurse, Gailia, ordered him a prescription for an anti-anxiety drug to help with this as there is nothing that can be done about the breathing.  The tumor growth will eventually cause all breathing to be done through his mouth.

Gailia ordered a hospital bed so that we can keep his head elevated.  It arrived yesterday.  The equipment company set it up and it is working great.  She also ordered some more supplies that will help keep Denny comfortable. Denny slept much better last night with his head elevated.

This is the difficult news to share.  The hospice nurse that has been assigned to us, Sandy, said that the tumor appears to have advanced into his brain.  Denny is experiencing dementia-like symptoms as well as some other neurological problems.  He has tremors in his hands and his feet are restless.  He is picking at his covers on the bed.  His left eye is not tracking due to the tumor growth. Sandy said this is not due to medication as I called them first thing in the morning with the changes I saw.  It was obvious before I had even given him any medications.

Denny's brother, Jimmy, came down yesterday evening. He has helped me with getting Denny's shower and watching over him while I went to the store.  My neighbor, BJ, has been in and out helping immensely with bedding and other sick-bed items that we needed.  I just want everyone to know our neighbors are really caring people.  They have become our Tennessee family. Here's a shout-out to the Stahls, BJ, and the Pinkstons. We love y'all!

Sandy came by this morning with some more equipment for me.  She said she wanted to check on Denny and see how we were doing. She is wonderful and lives close by.  Hospice has been an extraordinary thing; lots of support for me and comfort care for Denny.

These are certainly tough times for TheWoodruff4.  I called the kids and told them of their Dad's deterioration.  They were quiet and sad on the phone.  Both have tests this week and are having trouble concentrating.  Please say a little prayer for them.

Last night after Jimmy had gone to bed, I gave Denny his last dose of morphine.  (He is up to 600mg per day to control the pain).  I leaned over to give him a kiss and to tell him I love him when he said, "Will you marry me?"  With tears in my eyes, I said, "Yes."  He smiled and drifted off to sleep. Sweet Dreams, Superman...

Making Memories

This will probably take forever to load for some of you but I added pictures of the "memories" TheWoodruff4 made this weekend.  First, we left on Friday to go to Auburn for Fall Family Weekend & Homecoming.  Denny and I took our time traveling down.  We decided to leave Toby at home because we figured he would bark too much at the hotel.

We met up with Dan on Saturday morning.  He was dressed in formal wear because he is a fraternity pledge. Denny and Dan were very happy to see each other.  I took pictures of the reunion.  Then we headed off to a function put on by the Ag school.  It was really interesting with many booths and activities.  It was a huge party; lots of food and music.

The game was exciting with the cheerleaders and marching band.  All the fans were waving and cheering.  The sky was boiling over with storm clouds but the good news is it wasn't hot out. There was lots of color and noise and life!

We left after the 3rd quarter so we could beat traffic and have dinner with Dan before he had to be back at the Fraternity for Homecoming activities. We ate at a seafood restaurant and had a very nice time.  Denny was tiring so I took him to the hotel before taking Dan to the Fraternity house.  We made plans for brunch on Sunday.

This morning when I woke up, Denny was sitting up in bed.  He had an odd look on his face.  I said, "What's wrong?"  He replied, "I'm having a little trouble breathing."  Sure enough, I could see where the tumor had grown just from the day before.  If you look at the pictures above, you will see the difference between the picture of Denny & Dan and then the picture of Denny & Dana.  We decided we needed to head for home.  I called Dan and we ate a quick breakfast.  Denny and I started the trek to Tennessee.

We didn't think we would be able to see Dana.  She had a sorority function in Atlanta.  However, Denny called Dana to see if she was almost back to campus.  We figured we would arrive about the same time so Denny wanted to see her.  It worked out perfectly!  We ate lunch with our girl and her sorority sister, Reggie, at Panera's.  Then, we took Dana home.  It was a nice quick visit.  Denny was content because he got to see both of his "babies" on this trip.

His breathing got better as long as he was sitting up. If he tried to lay down, it was more difficult.  He is sleeping more and more as the tumor grows.  He slept all the way home.  I brought his pillow and a blanket in case we needed it.  The pillow came in handy.  He is also having increased pain.  He is up to 300 mg of morphine per day with oxycodone as a breakthrough.  He is eating less and seems to gravitate towards ice cream, smoothies, and cold things.  He says it feels good in his mouth.

As soon as we got home, we unpacked and Denny went to bed.  Tomorrow, we meet with hospice. It will be a relief to know I'll have help to keep Denny comfortable.  If he needs pain meds, they will bring them.  I won't have to drag him down to the hospital to get relief.

As I drove home, a thousand memories flooded my mind: Denny when we met, Denny when we married, Denny when Dana & Dan were born...the list goes on.  While he slept, I cried.  I guess that is cathartic but I'm trying to make myself live in the moment.  Looking too far ahead is overwhelming.

As I wiped away the tears, I looked at the sky of dusk.  What beautiful colors there were!  The clouds were lit in soft hues of pink, blue, lavender and yellow.  It brought a sense of peace as I remembered: God is with us.

In God's Hands

As you know, today was the day we spoke with Denny's oncologist.  It was a moment we both dreaded with good reason.  The appointment was at 11:40 am.  As we waited for Dr. Murphy to come into the room, we felt very anxious.  She came in, sat down, and got straight to the point.  She is out of options for chemo.  She has given him every type of chemo she can.  There is nothing left.

We asked about the drug, Everolimus, that was associated with the gene discovered by Foundation One in the biopsy.  She said, "It has a miniscule chance of working.  Your insurance will not pay for it and it costs over $10,000 per month. It would not be a good medical decision to give you something that has no chance of working."

She also pulled up the information on the MRI.  She read off what the radiologists said.  To paraphrase, it said that the tumor was significantly larger than in the previous scans.  The tumor is growing inward toward his brain.  It is already at the base of his skull, the left orbital bone, left jawbone and moving to the right side. She said all the heavy hitter chemo's have not been able to stop it.  She said there is nothing left in her arsenal of medicines.

After having said all that, she said, "It is time to call in hospice."  I asked if that meant he had less than 6 months to live and she said yes.  Then Denny asked how long did she think he had?  Her answer was less than 3 months. Hospice will come to us.  No more dragging Denny down to the ER in the middle of the night only to wait for 3 - 4 hours for a room to be seen.  They will manage his pain and any other symptoms that arise.  That is a huge relief for me as I am not a medical person.  I do not know what to look for or what to do if something happens.  We live 30 miles away from the hospital so this is a comfort to me. Dr. Murphy is going to have a hospice consult arranged for us for tomorrow or Monday.

Denny and I had tried to prepare ourselves for this moment. It is difficult no matter how much you try.  When the doctor left the room, we hugged each other and tears rolled down our cheeks. Denny is in God's Hands now.

I called the kids to tell them and there was silence on the phone.  I could tell they were trying to digest the information.  I told them, "We are strong.  We can do this."  Dan said, "So this is it?"  I could hear the sadness in his voice.  I said, "Just day-to-day, buddy."  Dana said, "How is Dad taking this? Is he okay?"  I said, "He is trying to deal with hearing he has less than 6 months.  He is doing well considering." I know there will be tears and sadness but these two wonderful kids will rise to the challenge of dealing with this once again.

They both seem to perk up when I told them he was out fishing with his old college friend, Randy.  It was a beautiful day here in Tennessee.  Denny and Randy went fishing and didn't get home until dark.  Even though Denny felt fatigued, he wanted to make some good memories with his friend.  They brought home Kentucky Fried Chicken and sat down with a beer to watch the ballgame.

That is how we are going to handle this.  Put all our troubles and worries into God's hands and live life.  Tomorrow, Denny has decided he wants to use our football tickets to Auburn's Homecoming Game.  So Denny, Toby and I will hit the road for Auburn tomorrow.  Time is short and there are memories to be made. War Eagle! TheWoodruff4 haven't finished yet....

Take a Deep Breath

Denny had a pretty good day.  It was a little tougher than yesterday because the tumor is active.  This type of cancer is extremely malignant and rapid growing.  He feels the bulge getting bigger in the roof of his mouth.  He has increased his pain medicine from 1 pill every 2 hours to 2 pills every 2 hours.  The pain is controlled and that is all that matters.

He is still eating well.  Thanks to my food Angels, we have plenty of soft food available any time Denny is hungry.  Angel Heather brought us "Chicken Pillows" that unfortunately Denny never got to taste.  I ate them all while he was in the hospital so I never had to stop for fast food.  That was wonderful!

He is currently enjoying the banana cream pudding with vanilla wafers that Food Angels Christine and CaroleAnn have provided.  The soup is really tasty also but Denny says the cold pudding feels good to him. Thanks, ladies!

Denny's college bud (and our really close friend), Randy, came down today.  He took Denny fishing for an hour or so.  When Denny came back, he was really tired.  He really enjoyed hanging out with Randy but doesn't have as much stamina as he used to.  He went to bed early.  They plan to go fishing for a little bit tomorrow after we get back from the meeting with Denny's oncologist.  I think it is wonderful that Denny has something to look forward to after that dreaded meeting.

We have gotten cards, phone calls, texts and facebook comments that have been so encouraging and emotionally supportive.  Please know that even though we can't answer every one of them, we truly appreciate all of you.  Your prayers and support make a difference in how we survive day-to-day. Our thanks, also, to the Food Angels of PMAC.  I have no words to describe how your generosity warms my heart.

(To my cousin, Greg, who I believe is reading this blog, please know you are in my thoughts.  I haven't had an opportunity to call you to check on you and your mom.  Just know I think of you often and hope you are doing well. Love you!)

I will keep posting to the blog with updates.  I know our Missouri family members are reading and concerned about Denny.  Please be assured that Denny is getting the best care possible.  We just take a deep breath and take each day at a time.

Love to all,
Deb

Rage

We woke up this morning to a cool breeze and bright sunshine.  Things seemed almost normal until reality slammed into my stomach like a fist.  I felt so sad; tears rolled down my cheeks and into the pillow behind my head.  I thought it was Denny lying next to me in bed but when I turned my head, I was staring into the bright eyes of our dog, Toby.  Of course, that made me laugh! Denny was already up.  I went into the great room and there he was; watching his favorite shows and bidding on an ebay auction.  He smiled and said, "Good Morning!  I feel pretty good today."  As I felt the breeze, saw the sun and Denny's smile, I realized that, yes, it was a good morning.

We laughed a little, talked a little, and just enjoyed the peace of the day.  No, things aren't perfect but that didn't stop us from enjoying the gift of this day.  Denny's pain is controlled.  The steroids seem to be holding the secondary swelling from the tumor to a minimum.  The steroids are also making him more hungry so he is eating more.  Because he is eating, he has more energy.  With more energy, he wants to go outside.  When he is outside, he is in the sun so he has more color. Denny looks better than I've seen him look in months.  Isn't that the strangest thing?

In the hospital, Denny had an MRI.  It showed that the cancer is in his left upper jawbone and the bone of his left eye orbit.  It is also moving to the right side of the sinus cavity.  Until now, it has been concentrated in the left side.  One of the Attending Doctors came in to speak with us.  He said it was a conversation he wishes he didn't have to have.  Basically, he said that there was nothing else that could be done.  Denny's oncologist consulted with this doctor and said Denny had 2 options.  The first is to continue to get chemo.  She has no idea what kind or how much and doesn't have any idea if it will work or not.  The second is to keep treating the symptoms with pain medicine and steroids to give him quality of life until the end.  I'm sure we will discuss this more on Thursday when we see her face to face.  The doctor said that we should be considering Palliative Care to help control his symptoms and this will convert to Hospice when the time comes.

We knew this day was coming but the horror of it was still pretty powerful.  Denny and I were holding hands and we were squeezing tight.  The doctor asked if we had any questions so he answered those and then left the room to draw up the discharge papers.  You could hear a pin drop in that hospital room as the door closed behind him.  Superman and I looked at each other but the words couldn't come.  I put my head down on the side of the bed and just sobbed.  Then I heard him say in a quiet voice choked with emotion, "I'm not done fighting yet." With that, my head came up and I saw determination deep in his eyes.  I have never been more proud of him as I was in that moment.  This example of his awesome courage will stay with me always.

We will see what the oncologist has to say on Thursday but I have a feeling that regardless of what options she gives, Superman has his own agenda.  It made me think of that poem by Dylan Thomas, mainly this stanza: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old Age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage Rage against the dying of the light."

So, Rage, Superman! TheWoodruff4 aren't done yet!

The Road Home

The doctor just came in to talk with us. His oncologist is booked today in the clinic and can't see us. Denny is going to be discharged today. He has an appointment on Thursday to discuss "options". In the meantime, they are sending Denny home with a pain management regimen that will hold him until Thursday.

Thanks for checking in.

The Perfect Storm

Have you seen the movie, "The Perfect Storm", with George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg? Clooney is a fishing boat Captain and Wahlberg is his hired hand.  They take off in search of fish and end up in the storm of the Century.  A hurricane of epic proportions develops because all the ingredients are there.

TheWoodruff4 are in the middle of our own "Perfect Storm".  All the ingredients for disaster are here: chemo quit working, tumor is growing, pain is escalating.  However, even though our ship is being tossed on the stormy seas, we are still united and holding strong.

Yesterday, I had to work.  When I said, "goodbye" to Denny in the morning, I noticed his cheek was getting red and his left eye was watering profusely.  These are the symptoms that signal the return of the tumor.  By the time I got home last night at 10 p.m., his face was drastically swollen. He was in pain and it wasn't controlled. I called the on-call oncology service and they said to bring him in.  He was admitted to Vanderbilt and is in 11 North, Room 11029.

He was supposed to be going in for another round of chemo tomorrow.  With the terrible reaction and hospital stay he had last week combined with the uncontrolled tumor growth, we are afraid the situation is getting away from us.  It may be past the point that chemo will be effective.  Tomorrow, his oncologist is going to see him so we will have her opinion.  We don't know if he will be getting chemo or if they will be possibly calling in hospice.

With that in mind, I called the kids to tell them what was happening.  Dan got in his SUV drove to pick Dana up and they were home by 4:00 pm today.  The three of us went to the hospital today; totally surprising Denny.  He had tears of joy in his eyes; seeing Dana and Dan in the doorway to his room.  There were lots of hugs and kisses.  Each kid had a chance to be alone with their Dad for some one-on-one time to just say what was in their hearts.

Denny was so happy to see the kids.  I was happy to have our family together in one place again;even if it had to be a hospital room.  It was bittersweet but also a relief because it is time.  Time is precious.  We don't want to waste even a minute together to say the things we need and want to say. Tonight, we felt the comfort of love surrounding us.

Thanks for checking in.  I'll update with information as it becomes available.  Please continue to pray.  God is with us.

Lois Ain't Happy

Denny was finally discharged from the hospital around 4 pm today.  I'm aggravated because he is still battling the gastrointestinal issues.  We are just supposed to "watch" for improvement.  Okay, so the problem wasn't solved and they're really not sure what the problem is, so send him home for us to figure it out?  He is supposed to get another treatment on Monday.  How is that going to work? Lois ain't happy.

On a brighter note, Superman is eating and holding the food and liquids down.  This is definitely an improvement.  He is getting some color back and is acting more like himself; not so lethargic.  We'll keep you posted on his progress on the blog.  Have a great rest-of-the-week!

Fierce Fighter

Here is an update on Superman.  He is still in the hospital.  It was nice to see him eat solid food and be able to keep it down.  Some other gastrointestinal issues are still a problem.  The docs are taking him off of IV meds and starting oral ones.  If the residual problem clears up tonight and his food stays down, he will probably be discharged sometime tomorrow.

He is in good spirits and obviously feeling much better. His color is more normal, although still pale.  The oncologist seems to think the chemo is working, I certainly hope so after the hell he has been through.  His next infusion is September 22nd.  The docs are working on a proactive preventative  plan to address the problems he experienced this time.  The only other alternative would be to stop the chemo and we know that is not an option.

Superman is in good spirits.  He was enjoying the St. Louis Cardinals game tonight and drinking a large vanilla milkshake (with a cherry on top) that his sidekick (me) brought him today.  He is a fierce fighter and continues to battle this cancer every moment of the day.  Thank you for your prayers, cards, and encouragement.  We could not do this without the support of our family and friends. Thank you.

Thanks, Dad!

Denny had an infusion of Irinotecan on September 8th. Since then it has been a battle with nausea and other gastrointestinal unpleasantries. Superman has tried his very best to overcome these issues but we had to get medical intervention. This chemo is so strong and harsh. He has had a very rough time. He has lost 7 pounds in one week. The oncologist is very concerned about this so she has admitted him today at Vanderbilt. They will be giving him anti-nausea drugs and other IV fluids to help get the situation under control.

This morning when we woke up, I could tell he was having a difficult time. I got up, fed the animals and ran to the grocery store for some things that might help. He looked so white and still, it was scary.  As I drove, I could hear myself whispering, "Come on, Superman. Come on, Superman". I want, so badly, for him to fly out of trouble once again. My knuckles were white; gripping the steering wheel in tension. I had silent tears rolling down my cheeks. Suddenly, it was as if I stepped outside myself and looked at the condition I was in.  I could hear my Dad's voice say "Guilliams' don't quit!" Well, Woodruffs don' t either. I went home and got this ball rolling. Denny is now cozily esconced in a private room, drinking Root Beer and eating a cookie. We are not quitters. We are fighters. Thanks for the reminder, Dad.

Angels in Disguise

Denny and I went to see the oncologist on Monday.  He was not scheduled for an infusion; just labs and an office visit.  When the oncologist saw him, she revised her original plan for Denny's chemo schedule.  Instead of having him wait another week for chemo, she decided to schedule him for an infusion right away.  She said the Irinotecan needs time to work.  She felt he was having a "minimal response" so she wanted to get the infusion going.  She said, "Let's give this some time to work."  He will not be able to get an infusion on the 15th so his next infusion will be the 22nd.

Denny is battling nausea right now.  We got some different medicine to help keep his stomach settled.  He is eating soft foods because the tumor causes bulging in the roof of his mouth.  He is particularly fond of sherbet because he says coldness feels good to him. He is doing a great job of keeping hydrated.  He drinks Ensure, iced tea, V8, water, and gatorade.  Those are all good things.

I want to share some wonderful things with you.  First, Dan got a Men's Club scholarship from church.  He can use it to supplement his meal plan so we are very happy about that.  Along with that came an envelope with $500 cash from an anonymous donor for Dana.  We did not have Dana apply for the Men's club scholarship this year because we did not want the kids to be competing against each other. So this generous person(s), wanted to make sure she wasn't left out.  TheWoodruff4 were speechless! We plan to pay it forward.

Those of you on facebook know how much I value my co-workers.  They are such positive and encouraging people.  When I go to work, I know I will come home feeling stronger. They do this for me.

Yesterday, I went to work and was worried about Denny and thinking of how this Irinotecan was making him feel bad.  I guess I was different than usual because my co-workers picked up on it and asked me what was going on.  I told them and, as usual, they surrounded me with love and encouragement.

A few hours later, my friend, Jess, sat down next to me and said, "We want to do something to help you through this. We are going to start making meals for you and Denny to help take some stress off of you." Now, my wonderful friends at church have offered the same thing and I told them things were not bad enough to put everyone to that trouble.  However, my work friends see things differently.  Being healthcare people, they do what they think is best and do not listen to me. Haha! So, my Angels in disguise, have put together a schedule for themselves to supply meals for Denny and me.  I got a text last night telling me when and where to pick them up (since Denny and I will be at the hospital those days).

With all the terrible news we have been seeing lately, doesn't this make you smile? I had tears in my eyes because I didn't know how to thank them.  I'm used to being the help giver not the receiver. As my friend, Sami said, "It is humbling, isn't it, to let people help you? I know because I've been through it too,  Just let people help you,"

I wish I could thank all of the people who have helped us just in the past week. You know who you are!  This blog post would go on forever if I posted all the names.  Yes, we are in a different state from our family but we are surrounded by love.  Denny and I just want to say, "Thank You,"

Somewhere Over the Rainbow...

We went to Vanderbilt today. We were unsure what the plan was since neither of us feel the Irinotecan is working.  Denny's labs came back fine so we went to the Infusion clinic.  Normally, Denny sees the oncologist but today the nurse practitioner came to us.  She said she could see how swollen his face was and understood that we felt it was not working.  However, they wanted to have him go through another treatment because it was too soon to tell if it is working or not.  She said Denny is not the norm.  Most people do not have as quick a response to chemo that he does.  So the fact that he didn't respond as quickly, doesn't necessarily mean this is not working.  So, he got an infusion of Irinotecan today.  We are ready in case he has nausea again.  He has some medication to help keep it controlled.

When we left the clinic, a storm was moving over the city.  The sky was a curious shade of blue.  The Nashville skyline was spectacularly highlighted by the muted sun.  As we drove toward home, a double rainbow appeared.  It was so beautiful!  Denny said, "Wow! I think this is God's way of saying, I'm still here!"  We looked at each other and smiled.

We don't know what tomorrow will bring so we are living in the moment.  We say prayers that Superman can keep fighting.  I see his strength and courage every hour of every day.  Go, Denny, Go!

Thanks for checking in.  We appreciate all of you!

The Razor's Edge

Denny started the Irinotecan (pronounced "Irene-o-Tee-Can") on Tuesday.  The oncologist got the chemo approved as an emergency and it was administered around noon.  So far, we have not noticed any improvement.  The tumor does not appear to be receding.  However, it does not appear to be growing either.  We feel like we are balanced on the razor's edge...waiting for something...anything to happen.

The chemo is making Denny very tired and he is sleeping a lot.  I keep taking his temperature because this chemo lowers the white and red blood cells.  That makes it difficult for him to fight off an infection.  If he gets a fever of 100.1, we are supposed to call the doctor immediately.  It is not usual for Denny to sleep this much.  Today, he was very nauseous and got sick in the morning.  We stepped up the anti-nausea drugs so by the afternoon he was feeling better.

His next chemo is Sept. 2nd.  We hope to see more improvement then.  I will keep posting updates to the blog to let you know what is happening.  Have a wonderful Labor Day!

In Uncharted Territory

Today was supposed to be the day Denny started his chemo treatments for the week.  The plan was to expand the week to 5 days of chemo instead of 4.  The Topotecan is not holding.  When the oncologist saw Denny this morning, she said, "This does not look good.  It is very swollen".  She took the Topotecan out of the treatment plan altogether.  We are now in uncharted territory once again.

She plans to start a new chemo regimen with a drug in the same class as Topotecan; hoping to get a positive response.  This drug is Irinotecan.  Treatment has been delayed due to insurance pre-certification.  Normally, the insurance company requires a 72 hour pre-certification period before administering.  The oncologist is trying to push it through as an emergency.  Denny's tumor can grow at an alarming rate in 72 hours.  The paperwork is in progress and, hopefully, treatment will begin tomorrow.

Since his last doctor visit 3 weeks ago, Denny has lost 7 more pounds.  He is eating but not as much or as often as he used to.  Superman is still doing odd jobs around the house as he feels like it.  Life is still moving along and we are hanging on like a hair on a biscuit (a little southern saying that our son used on me a couple of days ago).

We don't know what is going to happen.  We don't know if the chemo will be effective.  We won't know if he can tolerate it.  We also can't worry about it.  We have faith that things will work out.  Please say a prayer for Superman that the pain remains controlled and the Irinotecan will halt the tumor growth. I'll update the blog when the new information becomes available.  Thanks for checking in and cheering Denny on.  We truly appreciate you!

 !

Against the Wind

I realize updates have been very sporadic.  Life has been moving at a very fast pace for TheWoodruff4.  Like the quote from my last entry said, the plane takes off against the wind.  That is our life right now. If you have a minute, I will fill you in on the latest happenings since my last post.

The stressful issue we were dealing with has been resolved.  As I said, there were no winners but there was a lot of hard feelings.  I have reserved opinions regarding Dr. Murphy and will refer to her as "the oncologist" from here on out.  Denny still feels comfortable with her so I will take the high road and just move on.

On Wednesday, July 30th, we attended an Auburn Alumni Send-off for the area freshman.  Denny, Dan and I went and had a great time.  Denny and I didn't know a soul but Dan, being the social butterfly that he is, knew several people.  As Denny and I were sitting at the table, I noticed the first symptoms of the tumor returning.  His left eye was watering profusely.

The tumor has steadily gained ground as the week went on.  Today, he started chemo and the left side of his face is very swollen.  The oncologist put him on an antibiotic as she suspects he has infection due to the redness of the skin.  The pain is controlled which is good.  He had an episode earlier in July where he had to go through Vanderbilt's emergency room for pain management.  This tumor is hard to predict and sometimes the pain gets away from him.

He will finish this round on Friday.  We have the weekend and then we will be taking Dan to college.  Denny has never seen the campus of Auburn so he is looking forward to seeing where Dan will be spending his next 4 years.  After we get Dan settled, we are going to head to 'Bama to see Dana.  She is having a sorority function that I get to help with.  We will be glad to see her as she has been taking classes all summer and hasn't been able to come home.  Denny should be feeling well during this time period so we are looking forward to a little time away from hospitals, medicine and doctor visits.

We have been enjoying visits from out of town friends.  Bob & Linda Buechel and Meg & Randy Lang have been in and out for the past month.  Local friends, Mark Myatt, Mark Youngman and Keith Harris have also been by to visit with Denny.  Johnny Whitmore went to the hospital to pick Denny up from an appointment when I had to work and Dan had his widsom teeth removed.  Keith Harris picked Denny up to go play cards and that was the happiest I've seen Denny in awhile.  He had so much fun.  All of you make a difference.  The cards, texts, emails, facebook comments,  phone calls and visits really brighten his day. I think Denny's cousin, Pat Hanneke, sends a card every week!   In case we don't say it enough, "Thank You"! I will keep posting updates so check in when you can.

Curve Ball

From the silence on the blog, I'm sure you've guessed there have been some issues.  In the month since my last post, Cancer has thrown us another curve ball.  Denny and I have battled his disease for the past 10 years side-by-side.  Now our enemy has found a way to divide in hopes of conquering TheWoodruff4.

Healthwise, Superman is holding his own.  The tumor is active now; his face is swollen and sore.  He is still taking the morphine and has started using the supplemental oxycodone.  Chemo started this week on Monday so he has been nauseous and not eating as well.  However, Denny is still fighting and still working around the house.  He has his garden and his jeep to work on. Until the Topotecan goes into action, he may feel a little rough until this weekend.  

There are some things that I cannot go into detail about on the blog.  This is an intensely personal issue we are battling now.  Our troubles have escalated; pitting doctor against doctor with Denny and me in the crossfire.

Bring this image to your mind.  Denny is standing on one side of the fence and I am on the other.  Picture us holding hands but neither can move to the side of the other because of the obstacle in the way.  Love is there but it is being battered by negativity: feelings of betrayal, anger, and worry.  We are working towards a solution.  The tragedy is there can be no winner. Why? Because we each love the other so much, we don't want to see them fail.  So whoever "wins" will also feel the "loss" for the other.

I am feeling the stress and anxiety from the situation now more than ever.  I am taking a hard look at how I'm doing things and resolve to make some health changes.  Stepping back from the situation, I know the long haul is going to be difficult if I'm not at 100%.  I've got work to do.

I know this post is a little different than what you are used to on the blog.  Cancer is a vicious opponent.  Not all battles go according to plan.  No doubt about it - TheWoodruff4 are in a tough place right now.  I have to have faith we will find our way through the minefield.  As I've said before, you have to go through the valley to get to the mountain top. Please say a prayer for us...

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

Happy Anniversary to Us!

On Saturday, June 21st, Denny and I will be celebrating 23 years together.  This has been quite a journey.  We have so many great memories since our wedding day so long ago.

Let me catch you up on the latest developments.  Denny and I met with Dr. Murphy on Monday, June 16th.  She was going to start him on the Everolimus.  However, when she got the results of the MRI, she changed her mind.  The MRI said there was no significant change between the latest MRI and the one that was done in April.  Dr. Murphy feels that because the Topotecan is still has a response, she wants to keep going with it until Denny can't tolerate it or the cancer becomes totally resistant.  Even though the Topotecan cannot hold him completely from treatment to treatment, she wants to exhaust it totally before moving on to the Everolimus.  We have no idea if the Everolimus is even going to work.  So this is the plan for now.

While we were with Dr. Murphy, Denny brought up the driving restriction again.  Dr. Murphy is scheduling a driving test.  If Denny passes the test, he will be able to drive.  If he doesn't, he will not be able to drive at all.  As of right now, he can drive locally and but not on the highway. 

His next chemo begins June 23rd.  Dan and I have to go to Auburn for his New Student Orientation called "Camp War Eagle".  We will be leaving on June 22nd.  Denny's sister, Anita and our brother-in-law, Jim, are coming down to take Denny to his treatments.  Dan and I will be back late Tuesday night or Wednesday.

I have to work on June 21st so Denny and I will be celebrating our anniversary tomorrow night.  We are going to go out to eat at Cheddars.  Considering where we were last year, who would have thought we would be celebrating another anniversary?  It is one more miracle to add to the list...

Happily Everolimus

We have been very busy since my last post.  Let's see...where did I leave off?  Oh, yes..I was telling you about how the Topotecan wasn't working.  Denny went ahead and finished the week of chemo ending with a shot of Nulasta on Friday.( Nulasta helps his white cell count). He was feeling tired and somewhat nauseous through the days of chemo.  However, he seemed to perk up on Saturday.

Our friends, Bob and Linda Buechel, flew in Saturday morning to spend the day with us.  Bob and Denny went to college at Rolla and were in different fraternities together. Haha!  They have remained the best of friends all these years.  When I married Denny, they adopted me into the crowd and here we are.  They are hilariously fun and we enjoyed every moment with them.  We made bets on the Belmont horse race and used the winnings to have a great dinner at Famous Dave's. (Pictured above)
The day went by so quickly.  They flew home on Sunday morning but the memories we made that day are wonderful!

Denny ate more in the hours we were with them than he had in a week.  When we saw Dr. Murphy this morning, he had to weigh in.  He has already lost 5 pounds since the beginning of June. I said, "Denny, this is not good.  You are losing too much weight."  He said, "I can only eat so much.  I feel bloated all the time." He has lost a total of 25 pounds since the beginning of May.

As I mentioned, we met with Dr. Murphy today.  She is taking Topotecan off the table now.  It is no longer working. She has also scheduled him for an MRI tomorrow night at 7pm.  This is to get a baseline on where the tumor is now.  If his labs come back good on Monday, June 16th, she will start him on the chemo identified through Foundation One through the biopsy.  Since it is not approved for head & neck cancer, she will have to get it through the samples pharmacy.  Our insurance will not pay for a non-FDA approved therapy so she said she was going to see what she could do.  It is very costly but I know she will come up with something.  The name of the drug is "Everolimus". (Pronounced: Ever-o-lime-us)  Brand name is Afinitor.  She said we need to pray that this works.  It is our last line of defense.  She will keep looking for other therapies but doesn't have any possibilities in the horizon.

Yes, this is a very scary time for TheWoodruff4.  In Church on Sunday as I was listening to the sermon, I was surfing through the pew bible.  Isn't it a coincidence that this verse caught my eye?

Proverbs 17:22 - "A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a downcast spirit dries up the bones."

I take this to mean that we should stay positive and not get pulled under by fear.  So, TheWoodruff4 will continue to live each moment; savor the time and cherish the memories.  We will not lose hope until the last minute of the last breath... 

Graduation Goal

We celebrated Daniel's big day on May 31st.  He graduated high school with honors and distinction.  Guess who was there to see it?  Superman met his goal!  Here he is with his son on Graduation Day!  I remember when he was first diagnosed in 2004.  His one wish was to get to see both of his children graduate from high school.  He has fought very hard to make it happen. You have no idea how happy I am to be able to post this picture!

We have gone straight from graduation to chemotherapy this week.  We saw Dr. Murphy on Thursday, May 30th.  She felt the chemo was still working and decided he should go through chemo this week.  She said he was looking great!  She said as long as the Topotecan is working, we will keep using it.

Sadly, by Saturday night, I saw Denny's left eye start to water.  That is the beginning symptoms of the tumor becoming active.  By Sunday afternoon, his face was starting to swell.  The bulge in the roof of his mouth has returned.  I sent Dr. Murphy an email yesterday telling her of the return of the symptoms. Denny said the chemo is failing.  He is waiting to feel better but that time hasn't come.  Dr. Murphy sent a reply to my message that we will be coming back in on Monday to talk about another type of chemo.  I'm guessing it is the one she has found in the sample pharmacy.

Denny is not feeling very well.  The chemo gets tougher for him every time.  He has not been eating much but has been drinking Ensure and Boost.  Hopefully, this will help him through the rough spots until he feels like eating more solid food.  Superman is still fighting!  The courage and tenacity of this man is just amazing.  I am so, so proud of him.  You are awesome, Denny!

TheWoodruff4  are doing everything we can to help him with his battle.  Dana and Daniel have helped with the trips for chemo.  I'm coordinating doctor appointments and dealing with the insurance. Denny is doing all he can to keep his body going.  Please continue to say prayers for him.  They are much appreciated!

Driving Restriction Friction

This has been a very busy week for TheWoodruff4.  Denny went through chemo last week and it knocked him pretty hard.  He wasn't looking or feeling too well.  This week, though, he is doing much better.  We saw Dr. Murphy on Thursday morning for a mid-cycle check.  His counts are good and the topotecan is working.  The biggest problem is the driving restriction.  Superman was viewing Lois as the enemy; saying the words were being put into the doctor's mouth.  However, Lois says Superman has selective hearing and didn't remember Dr. Murphy saying he couldn't drive on the interstate, long distances, or back to Missouri.

I brought this up during our meeting with her because the friction is getting pretty tense every time we have to drive him somewhere. He felt he could drive himself to chemo treatments, taking 90 mg of Morphine, in the rain, in road construction, through downtown Nashville during rush hour.  We (Dana, Daniel, and I) understand his frustration but do not want to have anything happen to him or someone else on the road.  So whoever drives him has to have thick skin.  Our driving is critiqued from the minute we get in the car until we get home. Depending on who drives, we are either mad as hell or nervous wrecks by the time we all get home.  However, we will gladly do whatever it takes to keep everyone safe.

On a more happy note, Denny and I got to attend Daniel's Senior Awards Day Banquet.  Dan was given 2 leadership awards, a National FFA scholarship of $1000, and 6 scholarships from Auburn; including an out-of-state-tuition waiver.  When Dan's name was announced I looked over at Denny and saw tears in his eyes.  He was so proud of his son and so happy to be there. I got choked up when I took this picture of them.  So much emotion wrapped up in those little blue award squares.

We have much to be thankful for during this time of transition.  Our baby, our youngest, our son is getting ready to leave the nest.  No more running like mad dogs trying to get to every function, proofreading projects at the 11th hour or ironing official dress for FFA events.  I'm going to miss it but I find I'm looking forward to tailgating at college football games, Parent's Weekends, and school shopping for supplies with the smell of pencils, paper, and new books in the fall with Dana and Daniel.  This chapter is closing but I'm looking forward to the next book.

TheWoodruff4 wish to send encouragement and love to our friend, Ann Price.  Ann is a cancer warrior princess and we are in awe of her tremendous strength.  She fights every day for more time with her beautiful family.  Don't give up, Annie!  Hear us cheering you on?  All you have to do is listen.

We hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable Memorial Day!  May the sun shine and the burgers be cooked just right.  God Bless America!

The Miracle on Laguardo Street

In my last post, I told you Dr. Murphy had much to say.  What I didn't do was give you many details. Dr. Murphy, as optimistic as she usually is, was very realistic.  The meeting with her on April 25th was pretty grim.  We didn't want to put much on the blog until the kids were home and we could talk about this as a family.

Dr. Murphy told us that the Topotecan was barely holding the tumor down.  She didn't know how much longer it would be effective.  She also said that Denny's body is wearing down.  His counts have been okay to give him chemo but they are a little lower each time.  In order to even continue the Topotecan, she has to have bone marrow counts.  Denny's body has been through so much that the battle is getting harder.  Dr. Murphy told us when the Topotecan failed, the tumor would grow extremely fast.  Denny would not have much time.  She said she was going to keep looking but at this time she had nothing more to treat him with.

As you can imagine, this was devastating.  However, Superman said as we were leaving Dr. Murphy's office, "I've heard this before and I'm not ready to quit fighting."  I said, "You know what?  That is what I love about you!  Me either!"  Denny kept taking the morphine to help with the pain and pushing himself to eat.  He drank Ensures, Gatorade, ate vegetables; did anything he could to help his body keep fighting.

On Monday, May 5th, we met with Dr. Murphy again.  She has Denny scheduled for chemo on Monday, May 12 - May15.  She looked at Denny and said, "I don't believe it!  The Topotecan is holding!"  The tumor bulge in the roof of his mouth has receded.  His face wasn't as swollen.  His mouth still has a little droop due to facial nerve involvement.  He is still going to need to stay on the morphine because of that nerve.  He can drive small distances; like into Lebanon or Mt. Juliet but no long drives.

In addition, she said there was a FDA-approved drug identified in the biopsy that Denny could not have because it wasn't approved for his type of cancer.  Being the fighter she is, Dr. Murphy located a "Samples Pharmacy" that has a supply of this drug.  He doesn't have to go through the insurance process or fight with any clinical trials to get it.  She says it is an option she is willing to try.

Our main worry was that Denny was not going to make it to Dan's graduation.  That has been his goal since he was first diagnosed; to see both of his children graduate.  Dr. Murphy said, "That is not a worry. You have gained a little more time."  It's our Miracle on Laguardo Street!  TheWoodruff4 are still holding strong.  Superman is fighting for every minute of time.

Thank you for all the prayers,cards, phone calls and emails.  Wayne Foster, I need to give you a different phone number.  Denny doesn't get the messages left on the answering machine.  Remind me the next time I see you!  Ronnie & Tammy, thank you so much for the smoked pork.  It came in handy for us.  I didn't have to worry about what to fix for dinner. Thank you to Marilyn, Denny's stepmom, for staying with him after his hospital adventure.  He enjoyed his visit with you. Pam and Dorothy, I have no words to Thank you two for all you have done.  You are neighbors beyond compare!  Ron & Karla, Thanks for the little sign.  It couldn't have come at a better time. TDK & Lana, thank you for the beautiful quilt.  I promise the Thank you note will go out soon to your church.  Mark Youngman, Thanks for the encouraging texts while I was waiting with Denny in the ER and the visits to his hospital room.  You are truly a blessing!  If I have missed anyone, it is not intentional. Just know you all matter to us.  We couldn't get through this without you.

Balanced on a Blade

We went to see Dr. Murphy on Monday, April 25th.  She had several things to say. 

1. Radiation is no longer an option.  The Vanderbilt Doctor got the file from the Washington University Doctor.  He said the field of radiation done in 2004 was the strongest possible dose.  There is no way to do any more radiation in this area.

2. The biopsy sent to Boston revealed a couple of drugs currently on the market.  Dr. Murphy sent information about Denny's tumor to Dr. Lovly, a thoracic malignancy doctor.  She looked at the genetic markers identified in the tumor and told Dr. Murphy the drugs would have no influence on the tumor. This was devastating.

3. The topotecan chemo is the only option left.  Denny is balanced on a blade trying to keep the cancer in check.  Dr. Murphy is doing all she can to keep this cancer suppressed.  

Denny feels the topotecan working.  His face swelling is almost back to normal.  He visited with family over the weekend.  He seemed in good spirits and is eating much better.  Maybe Superman can turn this thing around!  Please send prayers his way!  Thanks.

Downtime for Deb

This will be a quick post, everyone.  I've been running the fast track for the past two weeks and need a little downtime. 

Marilyn, Denny's stepmom, went home today.  Denny was glad he got to spend some quality time with her.  Daniel is in Oklahoma City to compete in a National FFA Competition.  Dana is going through Finals at college. The house seems very quiet.

Denny is doing well.  The swelling in his face has gone down.  It is almost back to normal.  We were getting 2 different stories as to what the swelling was.  One doc said, "Blood clot".  The other doc said, "Tumor".  Dr. Murphy confirmed, today, that it was the tumor.  The topotecan is starting to kick in.

Dr. Murphy also reduced the pain medicine a little.  Denny felt the dosage he came home from the hospital with was too strong.  He is still comfortable and has started eating much better.

We have also been told that radiation has been taken off the table as a treatment option.  The dosage that he had in 2004 was so strong it can never be given again. 

Denny had labs drawn today and the blood counts were good.  He goes back in a week for another follow-up with Dr. Murphy.  She is keeping a close eye on Superman and continues to search for options.

It is storming here.  The clouds are dark and the rain is steady.  We are warm and dry; relaxing and resting.  Stay safe, everyone!  Good Night!

Superman and The Super-Fly Senior Chicks

Denny went into the clinic yesterday for his Nulasta infusion. This shot is needed to help keep his white blood cell count high so he can fight off any infection. He has had adverse reactions to this shot before but yesterday went well. Now that Denny is not in pain, he thought he should come off of the pain meds. He doesn't like the way they make him feel. However, the nurse practitioner said he needs to stay on them because pain like he is having is hard to manage. If he waits until he feels pain to take the medicine, it can't get ahead of it and work effectively. Our neighbor, Dorothy, was a hospice nurse before she retired. She, along with Marilyn, went to the clinic with Denny. She was immensely helpful with the situation yesterday. Thank you, Dorothy! I was teasing them about being the Super-Fly Chicks. Marilyn said "No, we are like those older ladies on that TV Show. Whatchacallit? Cougars?" Haha! Some good news? Denny ate very well yesterday and the swelling in his face is going down. The other good news? Dan got another scholarship! Looks like the Roller Coaster is headed back up the track!

Quick Update

I'm getting ready for work but wanted to give a quick update.  Sorry there was no post yesterday.  I was crazy busy!  I brought Denny home from the hospital about 2pm yesterday.  The swelling in his face was down from the day before.  The swelling is not only the tumor inflaming the facial nerve but also another blood clot.  The clots in his neck never really went away.  For some reason, the one on the left side is active again. Thanks to Pastor Mark for his visit to the hospital yesterday.  Denny really appreciated it. 

Marilyn, Denny's mom, is here and she will be taking care of him while I am at work for the next 3 days.  He is still not eating very well so she is going to try to get some ensure and soup in him.  He is very groggy on pain meds.  So I've asked her to get him up and moving a little bit.  I'm afraid he is going to have more problems with blood clots if he is always laying down.

Today he is headed into Vanderbilt for a Nulasta shot.  This is to build his white blood cell count.  Denny doesn't tolerate this well.  His blood pressure just drops suddenly.  Our neighbor, Dorothy, who is also a nurse is going with them.  He will be monitored in the hospital when the shot is given and Dorothy will be there to make sure all goes well. Thanks, Dorothy!

TheWoodruff4 are thankful for family and friends.  Thanks for the encouragement and prayers during this difficult time.  Superman is fighting; he just needs us to help push him through this little bump in the road.

Baby Steps

I haven't been into the hospital yet.  I've been disinfecting his room and bathroom again.  He is coming home tomorrow so I want everything to be ready.  I'm washing all the sheets/towels in Clorox.  He is almost finished with the antibiotic so I don't want him to re-infect himself.

I called the hospital and spoke to his nurse, Angie.  She said he ate some breakfast and seems to be resting comfortably.  I know he was yesterday so the pain is being controlled.  They plan to take him off the pain pump today and switch to oral pain medication.  They expect more of an up-and-down response because the only way to keep the pain medicine level is through IV.

He will get his 3rd chemo treatment today at 2pm.  Angie will be monitoring his pain levels.  His 4th and last chemo treatment for the week will be tomorrow at 10am.  After that, they plan to discharge him to come home.

Yesterday, the swelling in his face began to increase.  His speech became more difficult because the facial nerve is affected by the tumor swelling.  The swelling increased overnight so the doctors were called in to make sure he wasn't have an allergic reaction to something.  That has been ruled out.  They have told him to lay on his right side in an effort to drain some of the fluid collecting on the left side.

The swelling, in addition to affecting his speech, is also impairing his eyesight.  The swelling is causing his left eye to be pushed upward causing it to not track correctly.  This is giving Denny some major depth perception problems.  This is making him very anxious.  Losing his eyesight has always been a very, very big concern for him.

I have to work 3 back-to-back 12 hour shifts on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  Dana is still away at college getting ready for finals week.  Dan is preparing to leave at 5:30am Sunday for Oklahoma to compete in the National FFA Soils Competition.  Denny's mom is coming to stay with him during this time.  I will have peace of mind knowing he is not here alone.  Our neighbors next door are nurses so if anything emergent happens, they are just steps away. 

As soon as I finish getting everything ready for Denny's homecoming, I will be heading to the hospital.  He would enjoy visitors.  His room number is 11012.  Please do not call the room! He cannot reach the phone.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support.  I read the facebook comments to Superman yesterday.  He thought they were very encouraging and appreciates all his family and friends. Superman is taking baby steps to wellness. They may be small but they are headed in the right direction!

Don't Stop Believin'

I love that song by Journey. Today, it was rolling through my head as I drove to Vanderbilt. Last night was a tough one for me. I hadn't had much sleep so fear and worry were trying to get to me. This morning, I read through the comments you have left for us on Facebook. These little diamonds of inspiration brought me back. I'm going to read them to Superman today. When I walked into his room, he was a little more alert. I questioned his nurse and care partner about his food intake at breakfast. Both said he didn't eat; the tray went out the same way it came in. I asked for orders to be put in for some Ensure or Boost. Denny's pain level is holding at a 4. They are continuing to adjust the medicine in an effort to get it down . The goal is 2 or below. He is not as groggy as he was yesterday. He has a nice big window with a great view of Nashville. The kids and I sent him a cheerful little balloon bouquet that contains a superman Mylar that he loved. The doctor said he will be here at least until Thursday. Chemo will be given each day. The lunch tray just came in and I notice he is eating the soup, green beans and mashed potatoes. I think Superman is going to rally. Don't stop believing! Come on, Superman! You can do this!

Small Victories

Denny has been admitted into a private room at Vanderbilt. He has been pretty heavily sedated today. The pain level is down to a 5. He is only rousing from sleep when the pain becomes intolerable to hit the button on the pain med pump. He is very irritable and is having a hard time hearing. He is not eating or drinking very well and has already lost 5 pounds since Friday. I'm not going to lie; this is worrying me. A small victory is that Dr. Murphy has ordered chemo to start tonight. If we can get the tumor to shrink, maybe the pain will be backed down and he will start eating again. He needs to keep his strength up. Somehow, we have to turn this bus around! I'm at his bedside keeping watch until Superman can rally. Requesting prayers for Denny...

The Tenacious D's

We have spent the night in this ER room. Denny has been somewhat more comfortable with pain but it has been up and down. He was taken for an MRI about 5 am. The slurred speech, narrowed neck veins due to clots, and the tumor made this necessary.  Stroke was a concern.  The results came back around 9 am. The tumor is not showing much change. Some lymph nodes in his neck are enlarged but not worrisome. He is going to be admitted to Vanderbilt for pain management. He will be hooked to a PCA pump. This is a self-medicating pain pump. He will be getting continuous pain medicine and have the ability to press a button for more if needed. The pump will lock when the maximum dose is reached so he can't over-medicate. This will give the doctors feedback on how much pain medicine he needs to be comfortable. Then, they can adjust the oral medication for him to take at home to stay comfortable. Superman was starting to wear down under the onslaught of pain. He has a tremendous pain tolerance so for him to lose strength shows how terrible this pain is. However, I see the Phoenix rising. He is coming back. The Tenacious D's will fight for him until he gets that strength back. Thanks, everyone, for the prayers and messages of encouragement. In the middle of the night, when fear gains strength, your messages are the little rays of light that help Faith and Hope shine through.

No Time to Wait

I've spoken to Denny several times today. Each time, I noticed more slurring in his speech. He said he was taking 2 pain pills every 3 hours and his pain level stayed at a 6 or 7. That was enough for me. I got off of work at 9pm, called the oncology after-hours line. I told the doctor what was happening and said, "Something needs to be done! He is suffering." The doctor agreed and told me to bring him into the ER.  I called Dan and said, "Please bring your Dad to Vanderbilt. I'll be waiting outside the ER." As soon as they arrived, Denny got checked into an ER room immediately. Dan drove on home because he needed to get to bed for school tomorrow. The  Nurses and Doctors were all over Denny; asking me questions, putting in IV's and starting fluids & pain meds. I'm not sure where we go from here but the ball is rolling.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The good news is Denny came home from the hospital last night.  The bad news is his white blood cell counts are so low that Chemo scheduled for Monday has been cancelled.  The Ugly?  Well, Superman's arch foe has returned. 

The cancer is growing at an alarming rate.  The left side of his face is starting to swell again.  He is not doing too well today with pain management.  We are going to call the doctor on Monday to see if he can start radiation.  We can't let the cancer get a grip on him. 

He is trying to relax in his chair and watch sports on TV today.  He has been taking pain meds and drinking lots of fluids.  He says the roof of his mouth is starting to feel funny again.  I went to Wal-mart and bought some soft foods I think he can handle.  I got some soups, fruit cups, Gatorade, and Ensure.  He needs to eat healthy in order to keep strong.

I'm still cleaning the house with Clorox and sanitizing all the linens.  I've wiped down the TV remotes, wall switches. lamp pulls, door knobs, etc....  Think about what you touch every day in your house.  I'm trying to keep it all as clean as possible.

It is a strange, sad, Easter this year.  Last year, Dana and Justin were dying Easter Eggs. I was fixing a big family dinner to eat after Church.  This year, Dana and Justin are no longer together.  No eggs have been dyed. I'm fixing food for the boys to eat tomorrow while I'm at work.  And Dana?  She can't come home because of risk of exposure to the gastrointestinal flu I had.  With the 2 week incubation period, it would put her right a final's week to get sick. 

Added to that, I feel really helpless in this battle Superman is fighting.  It is hard to watch someone you love suffer like this.  I asked, "Denny, can I get you anything? Gatorade? Ice Water?"  He replied, "No, just pray for me."

So hurry up, Monday!  I plan to be on the phone getting some kind of plan in motion.  Superman has fought too long and too hard to be derailed now. I'm getting out my briefcase.  I've got my list of phone numbers ready and I won't quit until a plan is in place. Onward!

The Midnight Hour

I just got home from the Williamson Medical Center. Denny does not have the flu. He has been diagnosed with a highly contagious bacterial infection in his colon called "C-Diff". He is on the oncology floor and is doing well. He is going to be getting a course of IV antibiotics and is going to be monitored for dehydration. He is still running a low-grade fever. As I understand, most people with healthy immune systems can successfully fight off C-Diff. However, Denny's infection fighting ability is really low at the moment. For my nursing friends, his white cell count is 2.5.  I have no doubt that Superman will win this battle.  I'm feeling better. The nausea is gone. I'm just really tired. I wanted to give the update before I went to sleep so you all weren't wondering what happened. I plan to sleep in tomorrow. Denny is in good hands so I'm going to rest for awhile. TheWoodruff4 also send out condolences to Emily McDonald for the loss of her grandfather. He has also been a warrior in the battle against cancer. Good night, friends! Sleep tight and Angels watch over you...

Update on Superman

We are at the hospital. He is receiving IV fluids. They have drawn some blood and have taken all his vitals. He is still running a low grade fever. We have been told he will probably be admitted. Once he is comfortably settled, I will head home. I hope Dan doesn't come down with this.

Roller Coaster Ride

Remember when you were a kid, how exciting a ride on a roller coaster was?  Well, it is not quite as fun these days.  The roller coaster of cancer is constantly trying to shift us off balance.  Once again, it is trying.

Sunday night I came down with a severe gastrointestinal virus; vomiting, body ache, and other nasty things.  By yesterday, I wasn't getting any better so I went to see our primary care physician.  She gave me some anti-nausea medicine and sent me to the hospital to get IV fluids because I was so dehydrated. 

Today, I am feeling a little better but not good.  I woke up around 10:30am.  Denny was still not up. 
This is not a good sign.  When I first felt sick on Sunday night, I moved into Dana's room to sleep so I wouldn't get Denny sick. He is coming to the end of his low period from chemotherapy.  Getting sick now is serious.

Guess what?  It's serious.  Denny has the same illness.  I've called our primary care doctor and his oncologist.  Dr. Murphy's assistant called back and said since we are both sick, we can't come to the clinic.  They don't want us to go to the ER there because it will take too long to be seen.

I have to take him to Williamson Medical Center where I was yesterday.  They said that will be the most expeditious way for him to be seen.  Both Doctors have said he needs to be seen immediately.  The oncologist's assistant also told me I need to bring in family help but I said that was ridiculous.  Why would I want to infect anyone else with this?  We will make it through.

So, we are headed down to the ER.  It is about 45 minutes away.  Say a prayer that we can get control of this before it gets a grip on Superman.  Time to fly!  I will update as soon as I can.

Thank God!

That is all I can seem to say tonight, "Thank God, Thank God!" Once again, as we have been standing with our toes curling over the edge into the abyss, a miracle has happened to pull us back.  Denny had labs drawn and saw Dr. Murphy today.  His labs came back normal; no white blood cell drop as was expected.  Dr. Murphy walked in the door and stared at Superman in amazement.  She said, "You look normal!  The topotecan is working!"  She said that topotecan does not usually work so quickly and was flabbergasted that Denny had such a "phenomenal" response.  She also said that topotecan and radiation cannot be given together.  With the response he's had, she doesn't feel he needs the radiation at this time.

But wait!  There is even better news!  Topotecan, unlike other types of chemo, has no limit to how many times it can be administered.  Denny can stay on topotecan as long as the tumor continues to respond.  This means his cancer will just be treated like a chronic disease.  He will have to go in for a treatment after every 3rd week.  Isn't this unbelievable?

Radiation will be an option when the cancer becomes resistant to the topotecan.  Incidentally, all of the paperwork was faxed into Vanderbilt by this morning.  I called up to St. Louis early this a.m. and right off the bat, the girl said, "You don't have to drive up - I'm sending it right now!"  I don't know about you but that made me laugh.  They REALLY don't want to see me, do they? Hahaha!

As we were leaving Vanderbilt, Denny turned to me and said, "Could this day be any better?" Then, he smiled; a genuine-from-the-heart-through-his-eyes smile.  "No", I said, "This day could not be any better!"  We held hands walking to the car and just thanked God.

Hot Under the Collar

I worked yesterday so I was unable to update the blog.  However, rest assured, things are moving in the right direction.  Denny's face looks normal today.  The tumor bulge in the roof of his mouth has receded.  The only remaining issue is the left-side numbness of his face.  The doctors do not think this will recover.

Denny was outside working on the jeep this morning when I took a call from Dr. Murphy's office.  Elizabeth, her assistant, called to "encourage" us to keep our appointment tomorrow.  This puzzled me.  Did she really think we were not going to show?  I started to ask questions.  Elizabeth said, "Well, the radiation scheduled for the 14th is not going to happen.  We are still waiting for the dosimetry from St. Louis."  "Radiation?", I said.  "We weren't told he was starting on the 14th."  Elizabeth said that until the information (dosimetry) outlining where the radiation was the first time and the strength levels used, they cannot proceed.  Everything is on hold.

Those of you reading the blog for any amount of time can imagine my response to that.  I was hot under the collar!  I told Elizabeth I would make sure the information got to her ASAP.  After getting off of the phone, I got out my planner, looked up all the contact numbers I had for people I knew in Radiation Oncology in St. Louis and got to work. 

I called the personal assistant to Dr. Thorstad, Denny's Radiation Oncologist in St. Louis.  She was not in but another person returned my call.  I gave her the story and said it is urgent that we get this information sent to Vanderbilt.  She assured me that she would make sure it got done.  I smiled to myself because I KNOW it will.  I will personally drive up there and track it down!  I have done it before and will do it again if necessary! Denny's PMS (Personal Medical Secretary- what were you thinking?) is on the job!

Things are back to "normal" around the house.  If you were to see us, you would never know there was anything wrong.  We are enjoying the lull.  Denny is resting when he needs to.  The pain is controlled. His face is back to normal.  We have experienced another miracle!

Tomorrow, we will meet with Dr. Murphy. I will post the updates as soon as I can.  Stay tuned and keep the prayers coming!  Thanks for checking in.

Life's a Gas!

Denny was in bed by the time I got home from work last night.  With the rain and traffic from events in Nashville, it was 10:15pm by the time I walked in the door. 

He slept until about 10:30am.  This is very late for Denny who is usually an early riser.  When he came into the kitchen to get some breakfast, I was amazed at the difference in his face.  The left side has gone down considerably.  The antibiotics must have taken a few days to work because we were not seeing any results in the hospital.  The tumor has recessed a bit from the roof of his mouth making it easier to eat.

Denny says he thinks the Topotecan is working as well.  Dr. Murphy said it sometimes breaks up the tumor as it shrinks it down.  Denny felt some relief from the pressure this morning so he feels maybe that is happening as well.

I was starting to worry about Superman in the hospital.  He manages his positive attitude and mental health by staying busy.  This has always worked for both of us.  It keeps us from dwelling on negative things.  Three days of mindless TV was not keeping him busy.  I mentioned that to Dan that I needed to find something to take in for him to fix if he was going to be in the hospital much longer.  Dan said, "Well, there is nothing little enough that is broken to take in.  Maybe we should break a toaster or something."  We both laughed at how silly that sounded.

I left off the blog yesterday with Denny's brother, Jimmy, bringing him home from the hospital.  As I've mentioned in previous blogs, Denny has been working on a 1991 Jeep Wrangler.  That has been his big project the past few months.  They decided to take a little drive so Jimmy could see Denny's new "toy".  They got about 2 miles from home and ran out of gas.  The gas gauge still said 1/2 a tank.  Now, Denny has something to fix!  A kind neighbor stopped and gave them 2 gallons of gas to get home.  When he told me this story, I just rolled my eyes. Why does this not surprise me?

Superman is back to life.  He plans to work on his jeep, fix a motor in one of the car's door's so that the window will go up again. In between, he rests in "his" chair if he can get there before our dog, Toby! 

Looking back, it is a wonder we can keep our balance.  On Wednesday, we were on a high; celebrating Dan's awesome scholarship to Auburn.  By Thursday, we were in the ER getting grim news.  Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, Denny's body was doing battle against pain and swelling.  Our whole family was fighting to stay strong and positive.  Today, he is drinking Gatorade; sitting in his chair looking normal with no swelling and watching TV.  Isn't this a crazy, wonderful life?

Originally, the doctors said we would find out today what the plan is.  They have moved it back to Thursday because Dr. Murphy wants to give the Topotecan time to work.  The radiation oncologist needs time to get everything set up for radiation treatments.  We have a few days to just rest, relax and let Denny's body heal.  I work tomorrow but will try to update the blog.  I've been assured that there are some readers out there that are hanging on every word. Don't want to mention any names,  Alan Branson, but I will do my best. Haha!

Many, many, thanks to all of you.  Your phone calls, cards, emails, and facebook comments have meant the world to us.  It let us know we were not alone in this battle.  Prayers are his greatest weapon so please keep them coming.  I will continue to post updates as they become available.