In God's Hands

As you know, today was the day we spoke with Denny's oncologist.  It was a moment we both dreaded with good reason.  The appointment was at 11:40 am.  As we waited for Dr. Murphy to come into the room, we felt very anxious.  She came in, sat down, and got straight to the point.  She is out of options for chemo.  She has given him every type of chemo she can.  There is nothing left.

We asked about the drug, Everolimus, that was associated with the gene discovered by Foundation One in the biopsy.  She said, "It has a miniscule chance of working.  Your insurance will not pay for it and it costs over $10,000 per month. It would not be a good medical decision to give you something that has no chance of working."

She also pulled up the information on the MRI.  She read off what the radiologists said.  To paraphrase, it said that the tumor was significantly larger than in the previous scans.  The tumor is growing inward toward his brain.  It is already at the base of his skull, the left orbital bone, left jawbone and moving to the right side. She said all the heavy hitter chemo's have not been able to stop it.  She said there is nothing left in her arsenal of medicines.

After having said all that, she said, "It is time to call in hospice."  I asked if that meant he had less than 6 months to live and she said yes.  Then Denny asked how long did she think he had?  Her answer was less than 3 months. Hospice will come to us.  No more dragging Denny down to the ER in the middle of the night only to wait for 3 - 4 hours for a room to be seen.  They will manage his pain and any other symptoms that arise.  That is a huge relief for me as I am not a medical person.  I do not know what to look for or what to do if something happens.  We live 30 miles away from the hospital so this is a comfort to me. Dr. Murphy is going to have a hospice consult arranged for us for tomorrow or Monday.

Denny and I had tried to prepare ourselves for this moment. It is difficult no matter how much you try.  When the doctor left the room, we hugged each other and tears rolled down our cheeks. Denny is in God's Hands now.

I called the kids to tell them and there was silence on the phone.  I could tell they were trying to digest the information.  I told them, "We are strong.  We can do this."  Dan said, "So this is it?"  I could hear the sadness in his voice.  I said, "Just day-to-day, buddy."  Dana said, "How is Dad taking this? Is he okay?"  I said, "He is trying to deal with hearing he has less than 6 months.  He is doing well considering." I know there will be tears and sadness but these two wonderful kids will rise to the challenge of dealing with this once again.

They both seem to perk up when I told them he was out fishing with his old college friend, Randy.  It was a beautiful day here in Tennessee.  Denny and Randy went fishing and didn't get home until dark.  Even though Denny felt fatigued, he wanted to make some good memories with his friend.  They brought home Kentucky Fried Chicken and sat down with a beer to watch the ballgame.

That is how we are going to handle this.  Put all our troubles and worries into God's hands and live life.  Tomorrow, Denny has decided he wants to use our football tickets to Auburn's Homecoming Game.  So Denny, Toby and I will hit the road for Auburn tomorrow.  Time is short and there are memories to be made. War Eagle! TheWoodruff4 haven't finished yet....